I will work to keep this brief. I am in Russia, studying abroad for the first time ever, and I have a lot of feelings about it. Initially, I was very, VERY over it and just wanted to go home because I was coming off a very busy semester and stressful trip home from my first Alternative Break/preparation to leave for Russia. Now, I really enjoy it and can totally imagine living and working here one day. I actually think that I want to come back for a longer stay next summer too on a different program.
My only concern at the moment is that I am about 100% sure that my Russian roommate, Sasha, dislikes me because of my homosexuality. He discovered this, along with a few other people, at a party he, Aric, and I went to this past Thursday evening. How I know: he will not maintain eye contact with me like he used to as a sign of acknowledgment, he now only says “hi” to me and it lacks the mild hint of joviality it used to possess, and, lastly, the timing of his reorientation toward me would be far too coincidental to be attributed to something else. I am fine with this and, actually, did expect my homosexuality to be an uphill battle with a lot of people here. This thought, of course, being based on a lot of feedback I had received from trusted personal and public sources concerning the topic. Although surprisingly, of the foreign students I met that evening, I know of Sasha as the only one who does not like my being gay. I could not care less about his feelings toward me, it is just the awkwardness it breeds that really bothers me. I want to broach the subject, but I do not know how to do it lightly in Russian or English. It just is not exactly something that I can bring up easily given my living situation. It is unfortunate because I really see this as a moment to educate him about sexuality and homosexuals and also to learn a lot from him and about his views and beliefs on the subject, which is exciting AND frustrating because of the language barrier. At the same time, I also do not care enough to try to correct things and I plan to adjust to the new stance he has taken on me quickly within the coming weeks. Besides, I can ask others from similar demographics the questions I would take pleasure in asking him.
In the end, it would be very nice to be completely wrong and just look like a presumptuous ass, BUT something really tells me that I am probably right in my assumption. It would just be far too coincidental for his mood toward me to suddenly shift immediately following the happenings of Thursday evening. I guess I will just see how the rest of my time plays out here and how my relationship with Sasha develops or continues to deteriorate.
